:(

I'm so confused now, and I don't know what to do. One big fight (our first one) and our relationship feels like it's at its breaking point. I feel absolutely heartbroken, but I really don't know what to do. It seems like this has been building up for quite some time, which sucks. :( Anyway, we had a huge falling out over something so dumb. Basically, I'm tired. Obviously. I'm not a super-mom, though I wish I could be. Usually, at night if Tyler wakes up for a bottle, I wake R up to go make the bottle while I console T. R, doesn't want me to wake him up because he has to work but I don't think it's fair to just let him cry while I make a bottle, and if I pick him up out of bed then he will wake up and be up for hours because he is a little party baby. This is what started one argument, the second argument is because I chase after T all day long while R is at work, and when he gets home from work, I go on the laptop or am just sitting down and I ask him to stop T from what he is doing because I am tired. I chased after him all day long, so why can't R now? Yes, I understand that he is tired from work but this is a full-time job for both of us. We are supposed to do this together. R doesn't think it's fair to him that he should have to work all day, and then come home and chase after T when he just wants to sit down. I get that he is tired, but when am I ever supposed to get a break? I don't have time to do anything for myself, I don't get any alone time and by the time Tyler is in bed I am so tired that I'm ready for bed. I try to keep the house clean, I try to have dinner made, I try to keep the laundry done but I really am starting to feel that I am just not cut out for this. I wish I could be this super mom, I wish I could cook and clean and watch T, and do laundry and relax all at the same time. I want to have dinner done, dishes done, clean house, everything so I can finally get a chance to sit down but the truth is, that's not gonna happen. I am writing this right now, because Tyler is down for a nap and I chose to do this instead of clean. I don't even get naptime to myself because I am either, cleaning or feeding myself or something. R, he doesn't see this point of view. I don't know what he sees it from, since we haven't talked since last night. I don't know what he wants to do. I know what I want, and that's to be the best mom I can be to Tyler, since it's not fair to him if I don't give him all the attention he needs. R, on the other hand, seems like he is starting to look at parenting T like it's a job, which isn't true at all.

if anyone has some words of advice for me, please comment. i'm really stuck here. :(